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4 Ways to Learn through Conflict

Instead of seeing conflict as something to control or avoid, we can use it as an opportunity to learn and grow, says author and relationship expert Dr Margaret Paul



Here’s how you can use conflict to learn about yourself and the other person:



1. Decide that learning is more important to you than winning or being right.

The decision to learn about yourself and the other person changes your energy from adversarial to caring. If the other person also wants to learn, then you are supporting yourself and each other in learning and growing.


2. Decide that you are devoted to finding a resolution that works for both of you.

Many people fear they will have to compromise themselves to end the conflict. When you are both devoted to finding a win-win resolution, then both of you end up feeling great about it.


3. Decide that both of you have good reasons for your feelings and behaviour.

You can learn only when you let go of judgment of yourself and the other person and accept that you each have good reasons for how you each see the situation. You can learn about these reasons when you are open, not judgmental.


4. Decide to be willing to feel pain rather than resort to controlling behaviour.

Choose to be willing to feel painful feelings of loneliness and helplessness over the other person if they are closed, rather than protect against these feelings with anger, resistance or withdrawal of love.


Are you ready to learn rather than fight? When you are, then you will welcome conflict rather than avoid it.


Cllick here for more ways to learn through conflict


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