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5 Steps to Defuse Anger Quickly

How we choose to deal with our anger in the moment can affect not only the outcome of our day but also the outcome of the situation we find ourselves in. By Janine Lloyd, executive life coach at My Coach Online (www.my-coach-online.com)



Step 1: Understand the triggers

The first step in dealing with anger is to understand what makes you angry and why. When you are in a situation where you need to take control, anger can be good, but if it’s left unchecked, it can have harmful consequences. If someone has said something that makes you angry, ask yourself whether the person has a point.


Step 2: Know you have the power to defuse anger

Understand that you are able to defuse your own anger and even that of others. Have respect for others and the situations around you. When we approach any interactions with respect, we are able to control the situation and our response to it.


Step 3: Move to resolution

Think about how you can resolve the situation with respect and integrity. If you show that the other person’s views are valued, you reduce their anxiety and potential for anger. In many conflicts the issue at hand is often not the real or underlying issue. What does matter is more likely to be a feeling of not being respected, not being listened to or not being valued. How you respond is more important in the long run than the surface issue itself.


Step 4: React

Before you react or say something you might regret, think about the desired outcome. Once you know what it is that you want, you are ready to formulate your response. Try not to use accusatory or blaming words, just the facts.


Step 5: Reflect

Once you have done what you set out to do, reflect on what happened. Did you achieve what you wanted? What could you do in the future to deal with this person? Dealing with situations that make you angry requires courage and restraint. You may not be able to change them, but you are able to take ownership of how you react.

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