To get it right, you have to stop going about it the wrong way.
Three tactics that don’t work:
Parents may resort to sarcastic comments hoping to make a point, but it sets a precedent that can lead teens to fire back equally smart-aleck comments, says Dr Janet Sasson Edgette, author of Stop Negotiating With Your Teen (Perigee Books). ‘If you want respect, you need to be respectful to them.’
2. Strolling down memory lane
Stories about how you never would have got away with their behaviour when you were their age are so cliché, they just lessen your credibility, says psychologist Dr Leah Klungness.
When you label your child (for example, ‘How can you be so lazy?’), you move into dangerous territory, says psychotherapist Dr Karen Ruskin. ‘If a kid hears that often enough, those traits become part of his character.’ Instead, reframe the same idea positively: ‘I know how busy you are, but you’re also part of a team here at home.’
Source: Good Housekeeping 2012