Exam time can be stressful for both parents and teens alike, especially as your children get older. However, while you want your kids to perform at their best, too many parents are guilty of piling on the pressure and inadvertently setting them up to fail. To make sure that your teenager puts their best foot forward in their upcoming exams, here are five things that you need to stop doing.
1. Having unrealistic expectations
Let your children know that you expect them to work hard and do their best, but keep your expectations in line with your child’s abilities. If your teenager isn’t a natural mathematician, nothing is going to change that – even telling him that he ‘has to get at least 70%!’
2. Taking over
It’s important to show interest in your child’s studies, but they still have to take ownership. At the end of the day, your child has to do the work for themselves and not for you. Check in occasionally to offer sympathy, support and a snack or drink, but don’t impose your ideas on their studying methods.
3. Using a negative situation as motivation
You think that telling your child they’ll be disappointed with their marks or won’t get into varsity if they don’t study harder will provide a much-needed jump-start. In reality, you’ve simply planted the thought of failure in your child’s brain, and they may resign themselves to exactly that – failing.
4. Comparing them with others
Your child already knows that their sibling/cousin/parent got eight distinctions, and reminding them is a sure-fire way to make them feel inadequate and demoralised, and lead them to believe that their achievements will never be good enough.
5. Telling them to ‘make you proud’
Fear of disappointing their parents is a major cause of exam stress for teenagers. You run the risk of making your kids think that if anything goes wrong during the exam or they don’t get top marks in all their subjects, you won’t be proud of them. The focus should be on making themselves proud.
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